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The Gearboat Chronicles

Freedom Or Whatever

Thirty Wallowa County patriots occupied the Lostine Wildlife Area Saturday night in a show of solidarity to exercise our rights to, uhhh … get together on the weekend or something? The firepower on display was impressive. You couldn’t stand closer than about three or four feet from the bonfire. Otherwise, nobody was packing heat that I could see, leaving us completely unable to protect ourselves from the complete absence of any threat whatsoever.

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A freedom lantern was set aloft, probably symbolizing something I guess, as it drifted up into the sky all majestic like, then down real abruptly, heading right for the line of cars and trucks parked along the snowy road leading to the compound. It was more of an open field than a compound, really, but you know what I’m saying. Let’s stick with compound. It sounds much better when describing the location for a group of adults to get together and act silly. High five, Ammon.


Sidenote: these sky lanterns are pretty sweet. They are powered by some kind of Harry Potter burning magical wafer underneath the paper balloon and put on quite a show in the starry sky. Smokey the Bear is likely not on the board of directors for the company making flying candles – but I’m told they are 100% recyclable, biodegrable, all that good stuff. Pose no threat to sea turtles, the Constitution, or Amendments numbers one through four. Sources tell me sky lanterns are available locally at Gypsy Java in Enterprise. Freedom.

America. Then a few of us went for a night ski. I think we were securing the perimeter or something? I don’t know, but it was pretty fun. Somethig to do, anyway. Fist bump, LaVoy. Yeah.

This silliness of occupying the Lostine Wildlife Area for three or four hours Saturday night did make it occur to my mind cells that all of us really should make it a point to go occupy our local Wildlife Refuges on a more regular basis. You know, for like an afternoon. To see wildlife. As exhibit bighorn, peep this here picture with some Dodge Rams, which just happens to have been taken while briefly occupying the Lostine Wildlife Area one afternoon years ago. We didn’t encounter one single armed loiterer that day or have to identify ourselves or nothin’. Freedom.


Photo credit and sidenote: Picture taking and outing to go pet the rams was thanks to wildlife biologist Crystal Strobl, a gal I, and many people, really miss. I would just love to hear Crystal’s thoughts on this deal down in Burns.

For the official press release on the recent peaceful occupation of the Lostine Wildlife Area, go check out the Occupy Lostine manifesto posted by spokesman Kendrick Moholt on Facebook.

America. Blue tarps. Freedom. Snacks.