Rafting Olympics

As soon as they make having the time of your life on the river an Olympic sport, Winding Waters River Expeditions in little ol’ Joseph, Oregon will need a chiropractor on the payroll because of all the neck pain from toting them golds around.

Kayak steeplechase.

Synchronized Relaxing in the Shade.

 Competitive Eating of Good Food.

Jumping Down the Beaver Slide is one event the Olympics committee is considering adding, after they get rid of ping pong. Here’s what Beaver Sliding looks like:

Then there’s Rock Jumping. They’ll have to host this one event on the Salmon River, at Birch Creek, because that’s the best place to do it.

Here’s footage of our rock jumping coach Craig “Keep Your Legs Together” Nichols, walking us through the mechanics.

Team Winding Waters will be climbing up and down that awards podium so much we’ll have to train on Stairmasters just to be in shape for getting all the prizes for the stuff we got in shape for to win the prizes.

We’ve got an opening or two if you think you’ve got the chops to keep up with our rigorous pace of having fun, eating great meals, watching the sun go down, then watching stars, then having more fun on the water, then land . . . it’s demanding. Demanding in the sense that after a river trip down the Salmon in Idaho or Snake River in Hells Canyon, everyone on the team demands to go do it all over again.

USA! USA!