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The Gearboat Chronicles

‘Twas the Night Before Rafting

 ‘Twas the night before rafting
And all through the camp
You couldn’t see anything
Without a headlamp

The coffee next morning
Was made with care
While one of the ladies was
Fixing her hair

She fixed it just right
Like her stylist taught her
But it was ruined real soon
By the Green Room’s whitewater

Clutching her head
Where her hairdo had been
She yelled to the guide
“Let’s do that again!”

That lady loves rafting
Goes on a trip with us each year
Her husband loves it too
But he insists on rowing gear

He’s the best gearboater we’ve seen
Runs every rapid just right
We asked if he’d run gear before
He said, “Yeah. Lots of it. At night.”

We pressed him for his secret
And then he dropped our jaws
When he said, “Well, my first name’s Nick,
Last name . . . Claus.”

We thought for sure he was joking
Trying to pull a trick
But then he showed his drivers license
And sure enough, it said “Saint Nick”

The guides got kind of nervous,
Worried that we’d been naughty
But he said we shouldn’t worry,
“Now where’s that groover? One of the elves needs the potty.”

Gearboat Santa stops at every camp
Spreading river cheer
Leaving gifts in Chacos
From his dry bag full of gear

When rafting with the Clauses
We always enjoy ourselves
They’re fun to have on the river
And so are all the elves

So if your wife is special
But you don’t know what to get her
Take a tip from Santa
And send her down the river

She always will remember
The adventure that you got her
Going whitewater rafting
With the crew at Winding Waters

We know that we’ll see some of you
This coming rafting season
Because Santa let us see his list
Of who’s been nice, and all the reasons

Claus looked out at the river
And then he started talking
About all the lucky people
Who’d get a river trip in their stocking

So if you have been naughty
Burn your coal so you don’t shiver
But if you’re one of the nice ones
Then we’ll see you on the river

Merry Christmas from Winding Waters River Expeditions and The Gearboat Chronicles