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The Gearboat Chronicles

Red Carpet Rumors, Part I: Morgan in ‘The Hangover’ and ‘Out Cold’?

It’s a new year, time for a clean slate and all that. One of the resolutions at the top of my list is to address persistent rumors that Winding Waters Rafting harbors movie stars.

You may have been watching the new Winding Waters youtube sledding movie we posted last week, thinking to yourself . . . this doesn’t have the feel of a homemade, patchy movie taken on a cheap camera Paul ordered online . . . nay, this seems almost too professional. These people are no strangers to cinema.

“Morgan Jenkins,” as he claims to be called, often seems uncomfortable when it’s pointed out that he bears a striking resemblance to Zach Galifianakas, star of such films as ‘Out Cold’ and ‘The Hangover.’ He acts so aloof that some wonder if he might prefer the subject to be changed, almost as if he’s hiding something that is now being spoken of and he really is Zach Galifianakas and not a character known as “Jenkins” who pretends to be a world-class river guide who enjoys summers in Hells Canyon, navigating whitewater rapids as a break from Hollywood. Hmm.

Likewise, many guests have pointed out how they’re reminded of the movie, ‘The Matrix,’ specifically Agent Smith, whenever Winding Waters owner Paul Arentsen walks by.

And Patrick Baird, our rising star of a gearboatman, has on more than one occasion had his hairdo likened to Hermey, the elf who wants to be a dentist in the holiday stop motion epic, ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.’

I’m not saying that Morgan, Paul and Patrick are really Zach, Smith and Hermey. I’m not saying the pressure and stress of the entertainment business, or ‘biz,’ as I’ve heard them call it, have driven them to a double-life where they retreat to the river wilderness come summer time, choosing to live on the river and retreat from fame and fortune . . . matching their skills against Class IV rapids on the Salmon, Snake and Grande Ronde rivers.

I’m not saying that. Because their contracts would prevent me from divulging such information.

So I’ll leave it to you. To dispel these rumors, I’ve taken the only appropriate course and will post pictures of all personalities mentioned, letting you decide.

So enjoy this series of “Match the River Guide to the Movie Star They Look Just Like” and you be the judge. And we’ll see you on the river. And maybe the big screen.